An Open Letter to Jollibee

Dear Jollibee,

Back when I was a child, oops, I am not going to sing like that kid in that viral video. I am writing this letter because of what I saw in the much talked about episode of Anthony Bourdain’s new show on CNN: Parts Unknown.

The setting was Los Angeles and the country’s no.1 fastfood chain got a free advertisement on his show when it showed him having a langhap sarap moment when he ate the Amazing Aloha burger (the one with the pineapple) and halo halo.

I am not going to ask why there is no halo halo, I know that Jollibee also owns Chowking and halo halo has been one of its flagship products so the local Jollibee will not carry that in its menu. Still I liked it when he said: “It makes no Goddamn sense at all, I love it.” He also said that it was oddly beautiful.

The Little Big Bite? I can also pass on that since it is also not in the local menu. But wouldn’t it be nice if you can also bring it here to our shores even for just a limited time? I know some people who would love the idea. Jollibee and Spam, it’s like heaven, albeit a cholesterol and sodium filled heaven but still a delight if it hits Manila.

Moving on to the most important part of my letter, the part which will decide the increase in the GDP of the Philippines and the reconciliation of the Barretto clan, Why did you stop selling THE AMAZING ALOHA BURGER? Why?

I remember back in the 90’s, I knew it was not an ordinary trip to the mall when I get to order THE AMAZING ALOHA BURGER or simply THE AMAZING ALOHA. Pineapple in my burger? Awesome. It was like ordering the Greenwich Hawaiian Pizza

And then it disappeared in your menu. Years after you brought it back as one of your Premium Burgers along with the Cheesy Bacon Mushroom, afterwhich it disappeared altogether. I wished and prayed it would come back but I guess the fast food gods were busy eating their Milo Mix-ins and drinking tubs of soda float. 

It did not cross my hungry mind up until I saw Anthony Bourdain (I wanna be like him when I grow up) taking a bite of THE AMAZING ALOHA in his program. Many viewers (translation: me) wanted to be in his shoes or for that matter in that car so they can taste the burger.

It would be a disservice not to bring it back in your local menu now that it has garnered free plugging courtesy of CNN and Mr. Bourdain (I’d like to call him Tony). So if you get to read this, I just want to tell you, Please bring back THE AMAZING ALOHA BURGER.

Your loyal customer,

Tadonggeniuskuno 

 

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